+400 words description

     Lauren has pitch black dyed hair, although her natural hair has a beautiful dark brown color. She doesn’t curl her hair, she either irons it so it is completely and flawlessly straight, or she wears it with natural waves, not curly, just with waves. That is when she doesn’t tie it back, if she does she usually wears an adorable messy bun or a mesmerizing long pony tail. Either way, it always looks pretty soft. Her skin is very pale, but not in the unhealthy way, her eyebrows are really expressive and they seem normal, not too thin or too thick. Her eyes are hypnotizing, they change color depending on her moods and on the light, but my favorite color is green. That is when they remind me of mine, however, hers are out of this world. They are sparkling when she is excited or happy and I remember thinking that her piercing eyes caught everyone’s attention due to the mascara around them in her eyelashes, but I have seen her eyes without any make-up and they were still completely gorgeous. When I look her in the eyes is like I am looking into her naked soul, they tell a thousand different stories. Lauren’s lips are naturally light pink and a bit dry, nevertheless, in the moment she wears red lipstick, it’s impossible to look anywhere that is not her lips. Her smile is contagious, when she truly smiles the whole world reciprocates that smile, because it is the cutest thing that I have ever seen. And her voice, God her voice, it is husky and deep and when she sings I forget where I am, who I am or that my mother tongue is Spanish, I just get lost in her raspy voice. She is as tall as I am, she is not skinny, but she keeps fit. She usually wears a pair of ripped up jeans or some denim shorts and a band t-shirt, a sweater that looks a little big on her or a comfy hoodie. Normally, she wears flat shoes, although I think I have never seen her with sneakers, however, she uses high heels when she is in a show, at some awards or an interview. She is portrayed to be the badass of the group, only the fans know she is just some lovely dork who is still growing up, like every teenager in the US. Lauren is always looking out for her friends and beloved ones, she would defend them even if it meant looking cold, fierce or rude. She cares about her fans like anyone that I have ever known and she makes everyone’s day when she speaks her mind, because she sees the world in such a singular and deep way that she leaves us utterly awestruck.   

Worth It

     So Fifth Harmony has released a new song while I was sleeping, but I suppose that I wouldn’t have slept at all if I had known, so it’s a good thing that I was surprised. I’ve had it in repeat since I heard it for the first time and I still can’t believe that they are singing that, and believe me, I’m not the only one: the fandom is freaking out. I’m dying to listen to the rest of the album in two weeks and to see them perform it in The Reflection Tour. A rapper is featured in this song and, although when I found out about it I was a bit skeptical, I have to say that he fits really well. The funny thing is that this song is not any of the girls’ favourite, so I’m looking forward to hearing their favourites. I’m sure the wait will be totally worth it ;)

Riptide

     I’ve fallen in love with this video. Not only because Taylor’s version of the song is outstanding, but because of her expressions. I’ve spent two years of my life watching awestruck how she sang All Too Well without her voice breaking. I looked at her face and saw pure sadness and pain. However, when I watch this video and other recent ones, the thing only I see is her smile. She’s now smiling all the time, she enjoys every single minute of her life and it’s the best thing to see. She has grown up so much during the past year and watching her find happiness in the most simple things has made all her fans extraordinarily euphoric.

Reflection Tour

     Fifth Harmony released this cover to announce their oncoming headlining tour, with these other singers as opening acts.  The tour is only around the U.S. and it will only last a month but it is still a huge step for them, since this is their first headlining tour. The cover is amazing and they really show their vocals. It’s pretty depressing not being able to see them in concert yet, however, I’m so proud of them and so happy for them that my feelings are a bit conflicted. Anyhow, I can’t wait until the day that I get to meet them.

What to do?

     I was going through some pieces of writing that I had in my laptop and I ended up reading something that I wrote 4 years ago. I usually feel like I’ve matured when I read something old because now I don’t see things in the same way or because my life has changed. Nevertheless, I can always relate to at least part of this piece of writing that my 14 years old self wrote to liberate herself. I loved it back then and I still love it now, so I’ll do my best to translate it:

     What to do when you don’t know how to explain what’s happening to you? What to do when you don’t know whom to trust? What to do when you don’t know if you’re doing the right thing, or if what’s right for some people ends up being the wrong thing? What to do if you’re seeing your world falling apart and you can’t do anything to avoid it? What to do if what’s the salvation for some turns out to be your ruin? What to do if your main reason for not believing in a God is that you don’t want to add anyone more to the list of things you despise? What to do if you don’t know how to go on, if you don’t know what step to take next, if you don’t know what to name what you’re living, what’s happening to you? What to do if you only can think about one thing, in spite of knowing it’s not possible for it to happen? What to do if you only like two or three sides of your future, you loathe five or six and you’re afraid of ten? What to do if just by thinking of your next five years, fear overcomes you and it’s impossible for you to make it retreat? What to do when everything seems lost and you don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel? What to do when everyone puts you aside, when no one pays attention to you, when as much as you try, you don’t get to be happy and if you are at some point, something happens that keeps you from thinking happily? What to do if looking to the future is scary, looking to the past hurts and being in the present is impossible? What to do if getting up every day is so hard? What to do if you can’t pretend anymore, if you need to show who you are but you’re not given the chance, or they scare the life out of you making you believe that all of them are truly happy while you are just pretending? What to do if you need to tell somebody, but you don’t know what you need to tell, only that you have to tell it? What to do if as much as you hide, they find you and as much as you try to claim that the person they’ve found is not you, they don’t listen, they become deaf suddenly? 

If I Stay

     I saw last week If I Stay, I had read the book but I hadn’t found time to watch the movie. I believe it’s pretty good for a romantic / teen movie, however, it doesn’t have anything to do with the book.

     I found the book heartbreaking and overwhelming, I cried every few pages and I wanted to know if she decided to die or to stay. The book was, at least for me, a reflection about life and how we grief death. The writer made you feel as if Mia (the main character) was alone without her parents and brother, as if she had lost it all. Reading the book I could understand why maybe she could decide to go and reunite with her dead family. I was heartbroken when her granddad talks to her while she’s on a coma and I understood her love for the cello and music.

     However, the movie was completely different. I felt as if she had still a lot of people in her life in spite of her parents and brother dying and although I cried with her granddad monologue, it wasn’t the same. The movie is about love, is about how Adam made her happy and how, supposedly, he made her decide to stay. But it’s not like that, because in the sequel you learn that they actually break up after she wakes up, so she didn’t really decide to stay for him, she decided to stay because of the music and to get to live her life, even if she knew that it was going to be really difficult.

Glee 6x03

      I watched the new episode of Glee today, the new season started last week and fortunately it’s the last season. I want it to end so badly, because lately it’s been so boring, but of course, I want to know how the scriptwriters end it. The plot is non-existent right now and the songs aren’t very known, at least by me; however, sometimes there’s a good joke or an interesting moment.

      Glee is known for approaching social problems and issues, especially among teenagers. Bullying for example, homophobia, relationships, self-confidence, Down syndrome, etc. But I was surprised with one topic shown today, I’m not sure if they talked about it before. I have to find out if they recorded the episode after the news or it’s just pure coincidence, but a case of gender dysphoria is showed. That means that someone is not comfortable in their own skin and they want to belong to the opposite sex, this is commonly known as a transgender. The scene reminded me instantly of Leelah Alcorn’s death a few weeks ago, she was a boy who wanted to be a girl but couldn’t because her parents treated her like crap, punished her and made her go to some kind of religious therapy. It was a pretty important topic in social network like Tumblr due to the fact that her mother refused to acknowledge that her daughter, who she still called son, had committed suicide because of her and her husband, despite the huge suicidal letter that she posted in her Tumblr.

      Bearing in mind Glee’s history, I do think they recorded the episode after Leelah’s death. Anyhow, whatever reason they had to record that scene, I’m glad they did, because we should never forget that topic and seeing the antagonist of the TV show understanding it and helping this person is really endearing.

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

1.      Pursue my happiness no matter what.

2.      Try new things, especially if I am afraid of them.

3.      Keep supporting the singers that have helped me this year.

4.      Open up more.

5.      Forgive and let go.

6.      Come clean.

7.      Stop lying so much.

8.      Enjoy every little minute and stop letting things for another day.

9.      Stop worrying about the what ifs.

10.  Be brave.

Xmas

     I have always had conflicted feelings towards Christmas, I hate it as much as I love it. I love spending time with my family, being on holidays, the Christmas spirit, the lights…it’s amazing going out at night and being surrounded by Christmas lights and children running and laughing. However, Christmas has this kind of sad aura for me, maybe it’s because it means another year is coming, in other words, it represents the passing of time. Perhaps, it’s that, even if I like the tradition of giving and receiving gifts, I have grown to dislike the greed and the fights because someone’s gift is better or bigger than someone else’s.

     I have reached the conclusion that I don’t care that much about gifts in Christmas, I love those ones that come from the heart. I mean, if someone gives me something because they want to see my face light up with a smile due to the fact that I’m holding in my hands a book that I’m dying to read or a CD that I can’t wait to listen, then I totally get it and support it; nevertheless, if someone gives me a present because it’s Christmas, so it’s mandatory, then they can keep their gift. I guess Christmas’ exchange of presents lost its magic the moment I discovered Santa Claus didn’t exist. When people ask me what I want for Christmas I answer with a bare nothing, because if I need something or I want something I’m going to buy it myself or ask my mom for it, I feel stupid asking for a flash drive or a memory card as presents. I don’t want to ask for something because I’m going to think about how much it costs, if it’s available here and other stuff that I don’t want to think about when I’m having a break from studying. If someone wants to give me something I’m gonna thank them, but hell, I don’t wanna thank anyone for buying me something that I thought of just to stop them from asking me again what I wanted, because then I feel like I’m thanking someone for their money. But of course I end up putting a smile on and pretending that I care, every year it’s the same, so I find it quite understandable me being sick of it. I love, conversely, giving presents, because I’m still not old enough to be expected to give them, so I can have fun and give my godparents something that I know they’re going to enjoy. That’s the difference I guess, having to give gifts or wanting to give them.

     Since I can remember, I’ve always been sad before Christmas Eve’s dinner or before NYE’s one and lately I didn’t even like when we were trying to sing some Christmas carols. I think my uncles and aunts have lost their Christmas spirit and think of our gatherings these days as any other family gathering. It breaks me to realize that I see part of my family more in Christmas than in the rest of the year, we live 20 minutes away, what on hell is preventing us from visiting each other more often?

     I thought this year was going to be the worst of them all, but for now, it has been the complete opposite. Maybe it’s due of my low expectative for it or that I am focus on other things, but I really am enjoying these days. I shouldn’t, but I have reached such a level of apathy that I don’t mind if my world is changing faster than a dog barks when you step on its tail so long as I can listen to music and get lost in my imagination. Weird, huh?

     But yes, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Taylor Swift - Blank Space

In this new video Taylor Swift gives us another great sample of acting. She really looks insane (as the lyrics say) and mad at him. We know that this video is so like her because of her signature smirks and her slip in the tree scene. She brings into scene a lot of animals such as two beautiful white horses (which she rides and stands up on), a pretty doe, some dogs and at the beginning, her cute little cat: Olivia Benson. This is my favorite song in her entire new album (1989) due to the awesome and meaningful lyrics and to the rythm of the song. I love how she jokes about every relationship in her life being a mistake she has made, while at the same time admits she can be also difficult to handle. She warns her fans about guys that "only want love if it's torture", nevertheless, she keeps an open mind about the future since she says at the end of the chorus that she has a blank space and she'll write his name. I'm totally in love with this video because she wears a wide range of different outfits, some which are like what she usually wears, some which aren't, and because the scene where her make up is ruined, as a result of her crying, reminds me to her video of White Horse (which I also love). She released this video without any announcement, just like her first single one (Shake it off), and this is driving the Swifties (her fans) nuts. She's supposed to release at least two more videos for this album (if she does the same amount of videos as she did for Red) and I can't wait to see which songs she chooses (I'm sure Style is one of them).
P.S. I hope Meredith and Olivia  are in those as well!!!

Random thoughts

             There's nothing such as that moment when you're listening to one of your favourite music singer or group, to those songs you totally love, and you are about to fall asleep. It's not like you want to fall asleep listening to music, it's just that you are so exhausted and that music makes you relax, feel safe, so you forget about the rest of the world and just let all your muscles settle back. I love this feeling, because I don't usually have time to listen to music and omit what's happening around me, I listen to music when I'm going to somewhere alone or when I'm doing homework. Due to this, finding some time to just chill with my music, without feeling like singing along or dancing around my room as if I were crazy, is something that I worship. It feels so good to notice how I'm drifting off and how a small part of my mind clings to consciousness just to think "God, I truly love this flawless song".

I have this kind of disagreement with my friend, she believes crying is wrong, I, on the other hand, believe it's a good thing. She finds it, I wouldn't say disgusting, but maybe unappealing. I don't see it like that, for me it's beautiful. Of course, I don't like seeing people suffering, but I find like a magic within the action of letting go and surrendering to our feelings, because that's not a piece of cake, feeling is not easy. We're used to bottle everything up until we have no more room and we break down, because we're more afraid of acknowledging our feelings than we're of not feeling anything at all. We are born, we eat, we reproduce and we die, that's our life, isn't it? We always forget the "we feel", isn't that the key to everything we do? The patriotism for which soldiers die in wars is a feeling, the love that is shown in a grandfather's smile when he sees his grandchildren is a feeling, the pride in a mother's eyes when her son achieves something on his own for the first time is a feeling, the lust in the dilated pupils of someone who has just seen a person they're attracted to is a feeling. We're surrounded by them, they're the reason we get up every morning, it's them who make us enjoy our hobbies. And still, we're afraid of them, we don't let ourselves feel because there's always someone who'll criticize us for what we're feeling. If we do things that make us happy, we're too selfish, if we're selfless and help others, we're fools, if we fight for something we want, we're too ambitious, if we settle for what we have, we're not ambitious enough, if we wear our hearts on our sleeves, we're too naive, if we're shy and we don't trust others easily, we're bound to spend the rest of our lives in a house full of cats, and so on. Why is that? I feel alive every time I get to feel something, when I'm happy, when I'm crying my heart out, and even when I'm thirsty. We may be breathing and our heart may be beating, but we're alive because we're able to enjoy the wind touching our skin on the top of a mountain, because we're able to empathize with the crying little boy who's just lost his balloon, because we're able to miss our friends and family when we're far away, because we're able to crave someone's presence, in other words, we're alive because we're able to feel.